I finally figured out what I want to do with my life (I want to enjoy it!)
Updated: Feb 8
Every morning I sit down on the couch, have my morning coffee, and write on my journal.
Over the past few months, I’ve been thinking, planning, worrying, strategising, and reflecting on how I can make money, be known, get noticed, but most of all I’ve been trying to figure out what I want to do with my life.
My journal is filled with all my thoughts, plans, and worries. But today I realised something: all this thinking, planning, and strategising isn’t making me happy!
Everyday I find myself stressed and worried with trying to “figure it out”.
And everyday that passes when I haven’t figured out the answer, I would feel more and more defeated and hopeless.
I realised that what I want is not really to “figure out what I want to do”. What I really want is to find peace and enjoy every single day of my life.
I want to wake up, be worry and stress free, enjoy the little things, do what I want, learn something new, try new experiences, and actually enjoy it.
I don’t want to worry or stress about whether it’s the right thing to do, or how I can impress people, or make more money, or if it’s what I “should” be doing.
I want to try new things, experiment, make memories, experience new things, and not feel guilty or worried about what it is I’m doing.
I want to just live life, and enjoy living it.
Perhaps the best metaphor I can use to explain it is from my conversation with my aunty the other day.
I was talking to her about how I was proud of myself for being brave enough to take risks and try new things, but how I’m now finding it difficult to enjoy it. All I do is worry. Worry. Worry.
We talked about how it’s like going skydiving: I was brave enough to jump off the plane, I’m now doing the free-fall, but I’m not enjoying the actual fall because I keep worrying about what’s down the bottom.
But you know what, I realised that I want to, and should, enjoy the fall! I want to enjoy the experience of falling, not knowing what’s to come, but enjoy the journey along the way.
That’s what it’s all about!
And today I’ve decided that’s exactly what I’m gonna do. I’m just gonna enjoy life as it is, appreciate every moment, take risks, try new things, learn, experiment, and not worry about whether I’m doing the right thing or what other people would say. Instead, I will just enjoy every moment it.
Some experiences may turn out great, some maybe not so much. Sometimes I might try new things and then realise it’s not for me, and that’s okay!
I realised that it’s okay to try and fail and try again, as long as I’m enjoying and living the entire journey of figuring out and exploring!